


Midnight Terrors and Small Comforts

by smolpotatofics



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Asexual Character, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s03e08 Barn Mates, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Platonic Relationships, Platonic Soulmates, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Spoilers for Episode: s03e08 Barn Mates, honestly they're both bad at communicating, lapidot - Freeform, lapis is bad at communicating, peridot throws things a lot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:01:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28452066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smolpotatofics/pseuds/smolpotatofics
Summary: All Peridot wants is for Lapis to tolerate her, but it doesn't seem like that's going to happen anytime soon. Then, one night, Peridot finds Lapis trapped in a very dark mental space, and the two gems realize that they might have more in common than they thought.Basically, Peridot is a dumbass, Lapis is sad and angry, and when you put them together you might just get emotional healing.
Relationships: Lapis Lazuli & Peridot (Steven Universe), Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29





	1. Recordings on the Roof

It was almost midnight, and thousands of stars glittered in the sky above Beach City. A cool, gentle breeze wafted across the town towards the field further from the coast, bringing with it the gentle calls of owls and other night creatures. The evening was entirely tranquil. Well, almost entirely. On the roof of the old barn, a small figure sat, her feet stretched out in front of her, gesturing vigorously to no one in particular. 

“—and then I asked her if she wanted to watch an episode of Camp Pining Hearts with me. I thought that she would respond favorably to such a gracious act of friendship, but instead, she told me to leave her alone and, I quote, _not bother her with my stupid human distractions_. Clearly, Lazuli was overwhelmed by the day's events and not thinking properly. One cannot imagine any other explanation for this strange and, frankly, insulting response!

“If she wants to act like a clod, then let her! I don’t care! I’m getting rather tired of these increasingly tedious methods to convince her of my great and lovable nature. Until she comes around, I am perfectly satisfied to wait on the roof. Alone. All night.

”Ugh, maybe I should go bother Steven. At least then I’d have someone who wants to be around me. Peridot out.”

With a dramatic sigh, Peridot clicked off the recorder, wrapped tightly in duct tape after Lapis had crushed it earlier that day, and stood up. She brushed off her knees and stared at the silent stars. Everything had been going so well until the evening. Earlier that day, Lapis had seemed relaxed. By any logical reasoning, it had seemed like progress. But then, as soon as the first colors of dusk painted the sky, something seemed to change in Lapis. She was irritable around Peridot, responding to her questions and comments with curt answers or not at all. And then, just as Peridot had noted in her log, Lapis had snapped at the suggestion of watching CHP. 

Peridot huffed at the memory, scuffing her foot against the roof of the barn in frustration. 

“ _Stupid human distractions_ , she says. She’s the one who’s stupid. She’s just a stupid, clumpy clod with stupid water powers and stupid wings. Stupid, lumpy, ocean clod! Argh!”

She chucked the tape recorder toward the edge of the roof with a grunt. Realizing her mistake, she let out a squeak and quickly dove after it. Just before it flew off the roof to shatter on the ground below, Peridot’s small green fingers closed around the device.

“Oh my stars!” she gasped, lying flat on her stomach at the edge of the roof. “I need to stop doing that.”

She clambered down the side of the barn with the tape recorder clutched tightly in her hand, running over her new plan in her mind. Go see Steven, watch an episode of CPH to calm down, and ask him what on earth she should do about Lapis. He always seemed to know how to handle… other people. As her feet touched the grass, Peridot realized with a sinking feeling that the CPH cassettes were still in the barn. Maybe she could sneak in quickly and grab them before Lapis had a chance to insult her any further. She really didn’t want to have another fight, not when the evening had already been so awful. 

Gritting her teeth, she walked over to the barn’s closed doors, cringing at the thought of Lapis slamming them shut earlier, and placed her hand against the rough wood. When no sound came from within the barn, Peridot let out the breath she was holding and pushed the door open just enough for her to slip inside. Although she would never admit it, there were some advantages to being small.

The barn was pitch black inside. Peridot glanced towards the open door, briefly considering abandoning the CPH cassettes and simply going to Steven’s house for conversation alone, but pushed the thought aside. She had faced Yellow Diamond on her own, after all, and there was no way she was going to let a mere Lapis Lazuli bully her into leaving. 

As she crept over to her side of the barn, Peridot increased the night vision aspect of her visor, bringing the walls of the barn into clear view. She glanced around, searching the barn for Lapis. To her surprise, she saw the other gem almost immediately, sitting with her back against the wall, curled into a small ball with her head tucked into her knees. Peridot turned around fully to face her, and as she looked closer, she saw that Lapis was shaking. 

Peridot blinked and opened her mouth, then closed it again. What did she think she was doing? Something was clearly wrong with Lapis, and even though Peridot was terrible at reading people, she could understand that this was not something she should get involved in. The logical thing to do was to grab the CPH cassettes and leave for Steven’s house as quickly as possible. 

And yet… Peridot stared at Lapis through the tint of the visor, and as she watched the emerald outline of the other gem shiver, the memory of her own anxieties surfaced. She remembered the first time she’d heard thunder, and the intense terror that had gripped her when she thought it was the Cluster emerging. It had felt like she was being squeezed in the grip of some huge hand, held so tightly that her physical form would poof any second. If that was anything like what Lapis was feeling, how could Peridot possibly leave her to experience it alone?

So, with every rational part of her mind screaming at her to stop, Peridot took a soft step forward and spoke. “Erm, Lazuli? I- uh- I wanted to check on you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, lovely folks! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of my very first fic. Comments and constructive feedback are greatly appreciated, and I'd love to hear what you liked about this chapter and what you might want to see in the future. :)


	2. Stay

Lapis’s head snapped up and she stared at Peridot with wide eyes. Her hand twitched against the ground, and although she was looking directly at Peridot through the darkness, Peridot had a feeling that she was seeing something- or someone- else. 

Peridot cleared her throat awkwardly. “Eh, Lazuli?” she asked. “Are you okay?”

Lapis blinked. She glanced away from Peridot and scratched against the hardwood floor with blue fingers. “Oh,” she said. “It’s just you.”

“Who else would it be?” Peridot asked. “We’re the only intelligent life forms in this vicinity, and Steven’s house is far enough away that none of the other gems would bother coming out here.”

Lapis was silent. She rubbed the pads of her fingers against the floor harder, as if trying to wipe away a stubborn spot of dirt.   
  


“Well, anyway,” Peridot said. “I wanted to inform you that I’m going over to Steven’s. I just need to retrieve the Camp Pining Hearts cassettes from my side of the barn and I’ll be on my way.”

She turned away from Lapis to collect the cassettes, and was halfway across the barn when the other gem spoke.

“Wait.”

Peridot stopped and looked over her shoulder. Lapis had one hand outstretched, her face twisted in an uncomfortable expression. 

“Peridot,” she said. “Um, why don’t you stay here for a bit?”

Peridot gaped at her. “You want me to stay?” she asked, incredulous. 

Lapis bit her lip and held her arms across her chest. “I mean,” she began. “Steven is probably sleeping right now, and if you wake him up, he might be mad.” She dug her nails into her arms. “I’m awake, so… why don’t you watch your show with me instead?”

A smile crept across Peridot’s face. “Really?” she asked.

Lapis rolled her eyes. “Do you want me to say it again?”

Peridot bounded across the barn to her corner and emerged with her arms full of old cassette tapes, turning on a lamp as she did so. She dumped them in a heap in front of Lapis and grinned at her. After a moment, however, her face fell and she narrowed her eyes at the other gem. 

“You said earlier that CPH was stupid. Why do you want to watch it with me now?”

Lapis let out a slow breath. “Look,” she said. “I could use the distraction, okay? We don’t have to go into details.”

Peridot squirmed in her spot, debating whether or not to press Lapis further. Her attention was quickly diverted, though, as Lapis picked up one of the cassette tapes and began poking at it. 

“How does this work, anyway?” She asked Peridot. 

“Oh, it’s quite simple. Earth technology possesses nowhere near the complexity and advanced engineering of Homeworld tech. Basically, the viewing screen--humans call it a television--that is programmed to play this tape utilizes a rudimentary visual analysis script to-“

“Okay, okay!” Lapis laughed, throwing her hands in front of her. She threw Peridot a deadpan look. I didn’t really need the technical explanation.”

Peridot grumbled softly under her breath and stood up.

“What are you doing?” Lapis asked.

Peridot shrugged. “It just occurred to me that we should bring the television over here if we actually want to watch the show,” she replied.

Lapis frowned and tugged at her skirt. “Oh, right.”

The television sat in the far corner of Peridot’s side of the barn. Steven had helped to move it in earlier that day, and despite his small stature, he was clearly stronger than Peridot. She huffed with exertion as she slowly dragged the television across the barn. Lapis watched her with some confusion.

“Why don’t we just leave it where it is and watch over there?” She suggested.

Peridot glanced at Lapis, then back down to the television. “I suppose that would also be acceptable,” she replied, trying not to show her relief. She scampered over to retrieve the cassette tapes before sitting firmly in front of the television. 

“Alright, Lazuli,” she said, grinning, as she slid the first cassette tape into the slot. “Prepare to be amazed!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading the second chapter in this little fic! Please let me know what you liked in the comments, and I'm looking forward to writing more of Peri and Lapis's story. :)


	3. I’m Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis watches CPH and has some thoughts, and Peridot can't resist adding her opinions. One thing leads to another, Peridot accidentally triggers some old traumas in Lapis, and what follows sure isn't pretty.

Forty minutes later, the credits scrolled across the old television and Peridot turned to watch Lapis’ face in profile as the other gem continued to stare at the screen.

“Well?” she asked, doing her best to seem casual. “What did you think?”

Lapis turned to her, her mouth pressed into a thin line. “I don’t understand,” she said. “why Percy and Pierre didn’t just pair up.”

“Exactly!” Peridot jumped up and began pacing around the TV set. “Percy possess unparalleled underwater abilities, and combined with Pierre’s stamina and overland speed, the two of them could have easily conquered blue teams obviously lackluster defenses and not only captured the flag, but taken their whole territory!”

Lapis nodded. “Maybe Paulette just wanted to distract Percy so he wouldn’t team up with Pierre.”

Peridot’s hands flew up to her mouth. “I didn’t even think about that! It makes sense, too, I mean- just imagine what would happen if Percy and Pierre fused. Ha, they’d be unstoppable!” She chuckled to herself. “Who needs a Ruby fusion if you could have a… a…  _ Piercy _ ! Right, Lazuli?”

“Lazuli?”

Lapis sat in her spot, completely frozen, as tears streamed down her cheeks. As each tear dropped from her jawline, it remained suspended in space for a moment before floating up to orbit her head. As Peridot watched in horror, a small halo of teardrops circled slowly around her. 

“Oh my stars! Lazuli, what’s wrong?” Peridot asked, crouching down beside the silent gem. When she received no response, she reached out and shook Lapis’ shoulders. “Lazuli? Lazuli! ...Lapis?”

Lapis blinked, and the tears encircling her dropped to the floor with a quiet splash. She grabbed Peridot’s forearms with a surprising strength for such a thin gem, and Peridot quickly let go of her shoulders, bringing her palms up in surrender.

“Lapis?” she said again, quietly. “What’s going on?”

  
  


Lapis took a deep, shuddering breath and slowly loosened her grip on Peridot’s wrists. She wiped at her face with the back of her hand and swallowed.

“I’m… I’m fine,” she said. “It’s just… I have really bad associations with fusion.”

Peridot stared at her with wide eyes. “Lazuli- Lapis, you are very not fine. I, um, I understand if you don’t want to talk to me about it, but I think you need to talk to someone. If you’d like, I can go get Steven, but I can’t just let you stay like this and say you’re fine.”

“Peridot,” Lapis sighed, wiping away a stray tear. “You don’t even know me. You held me captive and tried to get information from me, and that’s it. I know you’ve changed, but don’t think you can tell me when I’m fine or not.”

The smaller gem narrowed her eyes, glaring at Lapis through her visor. “I’m not trying to act like I know you. I’m very aware that I don’t. But I know what you’re experiencing.”

Lapis snorted derisively. “What can you possibly know about this?” she replied. “What could you know about fusion? About being trapped in a relationship of anger and power? You don’t know anything about me!”

“I don’t need to understand fusion to understand terror, Lapis,” Peridot snapped. “And even if I didn’t, any clod with eyes could tell that something was wrong with you”

“Shut up!” Lapis cried, grabbing Peridot by the shirtfront with one hand. With the other, she made a clawing motion, and the tears puddled on the floor beside her rose up into a mass of liquid, drawing together at the front and sharpening to a point. Peridot’s mouth hung slightly open as the water-dagger tilted and aimed itself directly at her gem.

With a yelp, she brought her arms up in front of her forehead in an effort to shield herself, squeezing her eyes shut. There was a moment of silence, and then Peridot hissed as salty water drenched her head and dripped gently down onto her face. She opened her eyes slowly, and her green eyes met blue. Lapis sat in a heap in front of her, face drawn into a mask of anguish. 

Peridot released a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding and brought a hand up to clear her visor. “Will you talk to me now?” she asked the other gem.

Lapis nodded. “Okay,” she whispered. “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter. I find that whenever I have an anxiety attack, writing Lapis and Peridot dealing with their own challenged really helps me to calm down. Let me know what you liked!


End file.
